Birds, Bees, & Bread

As it stands I am not the most nature loving person. Sure I think it’s absolutely magnificent that we have these tall green monsters that make up an entire forest. The rushing water that refreshes the mind and soul as every wave hits another rock as it races down a creek through that forest. OK maybe I don’t get out much but I did have an interesting episode with a family of birds this summer. And by interesting I mean I traumatized them.

Isn’t that often how it goes. We find something beautiful and we destroy it. Or we modify it to appease our mood at that time. Take for instance, these birds – I wanted to know they were alive and to be entertained by them. They were just sleeping there minding their own business and not thinking twice about me. How rude. So I got up there with my big stick (big stick of pay-attention-to-me) and ever so gently poked the nest. Now my idea of gentle may be different than a bird’s – it’s about perspective after all – as a squawk loud enough to wake the worms erupted from the momma bird. Who by the way was more concerned about me then her babies and in her haste knocked two out of the nest!

See what I did there, it was the momma that did all the damage. If she had just calmly reacted to my invasion then the babies would have been fine. Rather, they hobbled around the ground before scattering into the bushes. As the summer days passed I would hear them squeak in search of home. Right, it was all the mother. Ok, I know I hear you. It was all me. But isn’t that so typical as a human to find something that in it’s relative home is just fine yet I have to get my fingers all up in it. Twiddle around for a bit and when it doesn’t go the way I had planned or ends up differently that how it was, I bring my fingers out and point them.

Looking at yourself as you are isn’t easy. Not always as a straightforward as a bird falling out of the nest. The cause and effect of our actions do not leave breadcrumbs for us to follow knowing where we’ve gone wrong. Actually, the whole bread gets baked and then a few bites in we realize it’s pretty dry and crumbly. The mess is everywhere and we just know it didn’t turn out. So we go over our ingredients – ah yes I forgot the salt.

Well between the birds and the bread this has all gone off track. Being able to see where you’ve gone wrong and admit to that is an audacious act if you’ve never done it before and a part of life if you are on the quest for self improvement. Regardless, it’s hard work like laying eggs and keeping them safe from idiots.

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Peanut Gallery Concern

“All alone in my castle, I am wonderful. I spend the most time with me, I should know.”

Am I nutty or are you nutty and I’m allergic? What is it about people that bothers me so much? I don’t for a second think that I’m better than anyone; in all honesty on a good day I don’t think I’m any worse. So how comeĀ  they annoy me to no end and by the time I’ve had enough I’m rude! That’s not me. At least I don’t think it is and when I am – well I certainly don’t want to be. There’s a difference between a being an asshole and being rude. Lots of people are assholes. Some people even make money off being these kinds of people. Mainstream media and low brow comedy shows are idyllic with their assholes. Not to put either of those down – well maybe the former eh – or to even call one out. I mean to say that we certainly thrive off humor at other people’s expense. My whole point being is we’ve all laughed a few times there especially at our own expense. I mean, we’re better off chuckling at ourselves anyways. Then the jerk walks into the room and instead of being kinda funny in the right light this person is really, undeniably rude. Don’t get me wrong there’s a spectrum; you can have varying ratios of rude to asshole. Some people fall somewhere in between. Like a bank teller rolling her eyes or not being able to say hello. Then there’s really rude and all that shit but we don’t need to get into that. It changes in circumstance and happens occasionally by accident – don’t do business errands at five o’clock on Friday after work – but generally, typically I just want to be kind.

So I looked it up. Google better not start advertising me self help books on amazon. That was a bad joke. Anyways, according to dictionary.com being kind is defined as: having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people. “they thought she was wrong but were too polite to say so” of or relating to people who regard themselves as more cultured and refined than others.As I said, I have no issue above anyone else. Although trying to tell that to our egos can be a whole other bag of worms. And since we’re not going fishing we are just looking at what is kindness. Consideration for other people. That old golden rule that states we should treat others as we would want to be treated. Which is a great sentiment if you like yourself. If you hate yourself you’re not going to expect kind treatment so why would you provide it. At the end of the day you are left with yourself – nuttiness and all. So perhaps I am more annoyed with myself than others. Kindness to yourself is important so you can be kind to the next person. It starts with you.

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Nothing Lasts Forever

Our time here is good but short. We live inside our minds but we take it out there. We keep consistent in our thinking and conscious in our surroundings. Or at least we try but it comes and goes, this thing called change. Constant in itself that nothing remains as it was before. I want to grow with each change. To not be held back by its boundaries. Its limits and what-ifs. Things don’t always have a course; the path is not always clear. Sometimes it’s just uncertainty that the wheels are even turning. Stuck in the scenery we’ve seen a thousand times before wondering is this the straight narrow or another turnpike. Either way, the road we travel changes under our feet. Standing still or running free, nothing lasts forever but the view is always with me. 

Stay wild. 

Speaking of Stories

This is not my story to share but I feel this is a side that should be ignored. With everything that has been happening in the States this last while it is hard not to think the American future is bleak. Being their next door neighbor is a little disconcerting but we have dilemmas of our own. The media tends to fixate on what will get the most reaction and what is the most wrong. Sometimes this is is a way of distracting us so that we don’t pay attention to what is really going on. Our opinions are formed by a tiny person in a box. Well anyways, this tiny person wants you to check out this other person’s perspective of the Charlotte protests occurring right in the States.

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So Then I Said…

I’ve always been a talker. Sure I’ll have nothing to say from time to time but usually I’m just sticking my foot in my mouth. Ever since I was a kid I have been longwinded. Rightfully or wrongfully, I have a set of iron lungs that just keep spewing dialogue like I know what I’m saying. It’s been that way for a long time and over the years has been pointed out. It’s a pretty common joke in my life and a genuine sentiment that I enjoy good conversation. Sometimes any conversation is nice too. Well, sometimes.

Typically it’s questioned though if I’m not chatting up a light storm about this or that. Since I’m not one to be too quiet especially when something is wrong. Well again, sometimes. Actually I dated a guy who when breaking up with me said the reason being was that I didn’t talk enough. Which was funny at the time but funnier telling my family and friends about it since the story took about twenty minutes to tell.

Every now and then I look forward to the silence. It’s a pretty busy world out there and we often get lost in the shuffle. At least, I get lost. Even though I’m not sharing my misguided adventure with you that’s all I can think about. Spinning my wheels like I think I’m actually going somewhere. It’s hard to get out of that. It’s hard to interrupt a conversation to collect your thoughts. To slow down and assess the situation to see that oh shit, yeah we’re stuck. To see things as they exist and go oh yeah, we’re still stuck but it’s not so bad because we know we’re stuck. Which doesn’t always mean you’re in the same place time after time. You’re not going anywhere if you’re just spinning your wheels looking for a way out. You’re not saying anything if you keep chasing your thoughts with words.

Something I heard when I was growing up was to “pay attention to your commas.” Take a break and look at what you’re saying, at what you’re doing. Pause for a moment and think about where you want to go with this. Not all sentences make sense, not all paragraphs have substance, and not all thoughts are finished but it all creates a story. It’s all apart of the great book of life that each one of has a chapter in. Maybe I talk too much but that’s the way I am and how I like to be. Chatty and sarcastic with a little bit of sass that masks my insecurity just right.

So as I bustle through, lost and in the mood for conversation, I try to pay attention to my commas because we are after all writing a story.

Stay wild.

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Photo Credit: This is Pretty Wild