At one point earlier I did have motivation to start something and generally starting is one of the hardest parts. Which is true considering I did not post what I intended to start with and in turn not starting at all. So once again I’m right back where I started..
Greetings from the west!
It’s hot and dry over here with no signs of rain and we one-notch-less than desperately need it. Now would be a good time to visit Mexico City, it’s 16 degrees Celsius over there which is half the temperature it is here now. I guess that’s not so bad and it isn’t like I’m standing on hot concrete trying to make a buck. No, actually I’m pretty comfortable heat-wise now that I am sitting down and moving as little as possible. Pretty comfortable in general really. Perhaps too comfortable. Yes, I think that may have something to do with getting complacent and then waking up one day thinking, what am I doing? I haven’t a clue, but we are going to figure that out. This is a no bullshit (give or take human error) expression of laziness and ambition. Motivation for the Unmotivated. That’s what I wanted to call it but unfortunately someone already came up with this idea. So here is to you, Matt from Nova Scotia who had a goal January 1, 2012, no you motivate.
About five years ago, I was writing fairly exclusively on one blog that had garnered a fair amount of attention from my peers. Although I didn’t realize the loyalty at the time I had quite the fan base. Of course, that much I did know and as my popularity grew so did my ego. Eventually, I wrote a research lacking, in the heat of the moment post that was ultimately my untimely demise from the internet realm. Unfortunately, also from writing. As I picked up the pieces I tried to hold my dignity together but was knocked down far too many pegs to hold onto much else. I really liked that blog and I had put a lot of heart and soul into it. Perhaps, as I was told, maybe too much. So I left things alone as one does when they are in doubt. I dabbled here and there with social media; mostly Pinterest and my Twitter had stayed open but there’s was nothing left of anything wild. No record of the small triumph I had made in being accepted. I took it for granted and when I fell off that righteous, high horse it galloped away.
I’m not looking for anything else other than peace and relief. Lately, there have been these knots in my stomach and I’m a fairly regular pooper so it makes me wonder how much stress I am putting on myself. I’m generally a fck-up, is that true or just a mantra I have sung to myself. When I am in my small, sheltered world – the sanctuary that I’ve been given to get away from everything out there – all is well. I see in myself what I would like others to see.. When I am out there being, I see myself as others see me. There is definitely a difference. Things have mostly been a blur up until this point and if you were to ask me about it I would likely have a hard time telling you much. However, late evenings when my mind should be at rest, I can recite all in perfect clarity. It’s like I’m on the line that borders the transgression into the real world and it is a tight rope to walk. With much to discover, I am looking for a comfortable way to walk it without a safety net and the confidence there is one.
Editors note: Never have I received so many comments on a post before. I mean.. These were all in my spam box and I really have no idea if any this is spam or not. It may very well be since my stats do indicate otherwise but I must say it’s the nicest spam I have ever received. Thank you kindly.
Editors second note: Yeah, I think it might be spam you guys. Still, it’s nicer than the late night telemarketers.